Peace Family I am one of those people who has a big heart that can sometimes cloud my judgement. I try to love everyone. But this can sometimes lead you to put yourself in vulnerable situations that end up being hurtful and toxic. It’s hard to know where those lines and boundaries are. But it can be like poison to your soul.
I grew up in a family without healthy boundaries. For many families it’s just part of the dysfunction. But it can make life harder than it has to be and very confusing. My first instinct is to love and accept whatever treatment I am given so as not to make waves. Have you ever felt that way Peace Family? But what that can lead to is people thinking it’s okay to treat you however they wish. And eventually your self esteem and spirit feel beaten down. I have struggled my whole life with this. In the past I have waited until I got to a breaking point and then stood up for myself and yelling may or may not have been involved. 😉 That’s how my family does things.
But that doesn’t work well in a work or social environment. Especially the higher up you go. I have let things get toxic by not setting boundaries and am learning to take responsibility for my role in that. But let’s face it…there are just mean, insecure people in the world that have a compulsive need to tear you down. They don’t even realize sometimes when they are doing it. And that makes kind-hearted people an easy target. Whether they are family members, co-workers or even church members…it happens everywhere and in every age group.
If you are struggling with boundaries and where those healthy lines are I want to encourage you to reach out for help and knowledge. I had two books suggested to me that address these things and helps unravel all the unhealthy learned behavior. I will dig into those this week and it helps to surround yourself with people trying to grow and learn too. But remember, we will always have people in our lives we have to deal with that are difficult. Don’t waste any energy on trying to change them, because that simply doesn’t work. You can’t change anyone but YOU.
Bottom line, I am so grateful to have a Savior who understands and has compassion on his children. He was mocked and had people say and do terrible things to him so he knows how you feel. And I am so grateful we have THE book that guides us on the paths to follow and the ones to turn away from. When I am in doubt about something or a situation I will grab my Bible and look for direction. It’s your ultimate source, Peace Family.