Peace family, where do you see yourself in five years?

I recently was having dinner with a friend who asked me that question, and it really put things into perspective. It forced me to look at my life, and look at the ways that I am or am not doing what I hope to do with it. I thought about my age, and when I thought about how I did not want my life to look five years from now, I realized that I have not been putting almost any effort into doing what I need to, in order for my life to look different.

While our first answer to this question should always be for us to grow closer to God, we don’t always focus on him or on the other important things in our lives. Are you investing in your relationship with Christ and continuing to grow and surrender your struggles and dreams to him? (For example, I’m always wishing I would regularly memorize more scripture, but I don’t follow through with the discipline to do it.) Are you setting aside time and energy to invest in your marriage and improve it, even if you don’t have any problems right now? Are you investing time and heart into your relationships with your children, or do “more important” things seem to always come up? Are you wanting to get into better physical or emotional shape, but you’ve avoided starting the work outs or scheduling a meeting with a counselor? Are you hoping to start a business or try something new that you have been too comfortable, afraid, or distracted to try? The list of things we highly value but sometimes don’t make time for, goes on and on.

Peace family, today is as good of a day as any to start working towards your goal. It doesn’t matter how old you are, or how stuck you feel. Are you doing anything today, or making any plans that will help you to succeed in reaching where you want to be five years from now? You can do it! We might not succeed at everything, but we will certainly never reach our goals if we fail to try.

What are some practical steps that you can take today in order to try things you’d like to try, but might be too scared to do? Who is a faithful friend that you can share a goal with, who will help you start working towards it? No one else can succeed for us, or make us do the things that we feel called to do. Especially if there is something in your life that you feel God has called you to do, let’s honor God by stepping out in faith, staying humble and obedient to him, and learning as we go. I’m taking steps today to meet some goals, and my roommate is joining me. Let’s do it together, Peace family!

Peace family, so much unrest in our culture is directly related to our identities. Do you really believe that you can trust God’s perspective about our personal identities and value?

I don’t know what all of the factors are that made us so broken and chaotic in our identities and self-value during this generation, but if you think about it, most of our country’s embroiling fights right now have to deal with identity.

We stretch ourselves thin trying to make a mention of everyone and make everyone feel included, or we express outrage towards instances where people have failed to include everyone. So many issues and arguments are about us trying to “find ourselves” and “follow our hearts” and prove that the self we have chosen is worthy of everyone else’s admiration and attention. We are always dividing ourselves and others into groups; do the other people match or not match me sexually, racially, financially, politically, fashion-wise, age-wise, and so on? Meanwhile, we put so much effort into trying to prove our personal value apart from God. It is exhausting!

Peace family, we need to start turning back to God for our identity. No matter how many things you have in common with someone, he or she will never fully understand you. We will never achieve the feeling of “home” and full acceptance that we are longing for without Christ, no matter how many people validate us. Sure, we might feel more accepted and included in some groups than in others, but I think the deep connection that so many of us are starving for, is actually a craving for God. When we don’t consider God as a solution, no wonder we inflict damage on others and ourselves!

Peace family, God loves you. He loves you, personally. You don’t have to try so hard to prove yourself and your value. You are already valuable. When God is for you, what does it matter what other people think of or do to you? Only his opinion of you is lasting. He has set out wise guidelines in the Bible that help to remove some of the chaos and garbage from our lives, and we can rest in our value to him. When our perspectives are warped by the time and society in which we live, we can still trust that God knows best. We can rest in our belonging to him, and the home that he offers us in a friendship with him.

If you feel confused about your value today, trust God. If you feel confused about your self, your niche, or what group you belong to, trust God. Trust God and obey him, and know that He loves you more than anyone else can love you. He will take care of you. My prayer for you today, is that you might be comforted and given God’s perspective for your life.

Peace family, Mother’s Day brings up a lot of pain sometimes. Chaplain Gary Roe with Hospice Brazos Valley has some words of comfort for those of us who will be hurting on Mother’s Day.

Gary says, it’s true that Mother’s Day isn’t fun for everyone. Some people are grieving a mother who recently passed away, or even in the distant past and they’re still grieving. Think for a minute about the impact- when a mother passes away, we’ve never known a moment or taken a breath without her being there somewhere. What do you do with that, when it comes to be Mother’s Day? You can’t send her a card, you can’t make a phone call, you can’t show up to visit.

There’s also a whole, different kind of grief that occurs on Mother’s Day: the grief of a mother for a child. In other words, if a mother has lost a child, Mother’s Day means something totally different to them, now. We all think that our kids are going to outlive us and that we’re not going to have to bury our kids. To lose a child first is totally backwards.

There are also  the secret, silent losses of children, losses that we don’t talk about much. There are losses due to abortion, miscarriage, stillbirth, infertility, and all kinds of things come with them: guilt, sorrow, pain, longing, anger, confusion, frustration and questions about faith. We ask, “Where was God in this? Why did this have to happen to me, to her, to him?”

Mother’s Day can not only be painful, it can be traumatic, and the problem is that the world feels like life goes on and you really should get over this. To a someone grieving, that’s like someone saying that your mother or your child didn’t matter. We’re hurting, and we should be hurting.

As Mother’s Day approaches, if you’re hurting, please be aware first of all, that it really is okay to hurt. You’ve endured a heavy loss, and it should hurt. God created us in his image, he wired us for relationships and to do relationships, and these are close relationships we’re talking about. We do not do separation well. It’s okay to hurt.

Second, if you’re grieving this Mother’s Day, please, make a plan for the day, even just a simple one. If you’ve lost your mom, make a plan to honor her this Mother’s Day. If you’ve lost your child, make a plan to honor him or her this mother’s day. Set up a picture. Light a candle. Write them a card or letter. Maybe have people share a memory over a meal. Include an empty chair at the table. If they had a Facebook profile, you can post a tribute there.

If you’re not grieving this Mother’s Day, just be aware that some of the people around you are. Be watchful, sensitive, loving, and accepting. Be the hands and feet of Jesus Christ to them this Mother’s Day. Weep with them, mourn with them, come along side them, and let them know in some shape, form, or fashion, even if it’s an email or text, “I’m just thinking about you today.”

If you’re out there and feel like, “I need some extra help here,” you can find some free resources at Gary’s website, www.GaryRoe.com or call Hospice Brazos Valley at 979-821-2266.

Peace family, do you ever become completely overwhelmed by the details in your life? What do you do when that happens?

(This blog is probably going to be a little boring, because it is more like a personal journal entry. Just FYI.)

I have a lot of things on my plate right now, and many of them are good things, but they all take focus. Outside of work, there are friendships with issues to work through, my sweet roommate has been pretty ill for a while, and my mom is grieving the loss of her mother. I’m failing on a diet, I’m not exercising, I’ve had to buy some new clothes because my old ones aren’t fitting right, and grieving my grandmother makes me just want to eat and eat, and eat unhealthy, easy things. I’ve been having bad dreams for a few weeks, so I feel tired a lot. I just signed up for a Chinese class because a long-time family friend’s wife can’t speak English and I want to be able to have a friendship with her, I haven’t felt like practicing piano but feel like I am behind, and I’m feeling anxious to clean my house out (this seems to be normal for me when a loved one dies.) I’m also trying to finish getting a somewhat complicated gift together for a friend who will graduate from high school in 10 days, and I’m going to start fostering some kittens this evening (though I absolutely love kittens and this should actually be a pleasure, it will still take some energy.) That’s not even everything on my plate, and I also feel unsettled in several other very important areas of my life. Phew, what a mess!

I’m sure if you made a list, you could probably find just as many things swirling around in your own life, especially if you have kids! Peace family, do you have friends or loved ones in your life who can help hold you accountable to ever just be still and know that God is God?

Today, I have to choose to remember that:

1. God loves me, no matter how I perform or what I do or don’t produce. God’s love for me is not dependent on my performance.
2. God loves me and designed me, no matter what I look like and no matter whether or not other people ever value me, understand me, or understand the way I think and feel.
3. If/as I fail daily, God is still God. God can still be glorified in my life, even if other things aren’t going as I wish.
4. God’s plan is more important than my plan. During the days surrounding my Grammie’s funeral, I was reminded that God sometimes doesn’t use us in the ways that we offer ourselves to be used, but uses us in other ways that we didn’t expect, and though that can be hard and sometimes painful, that’s okay.
5. God is God, and I am not. While I should do my best, work hard, love others, and live responsibly, I don’t have ultimate control over my life, because that’s God’s jurisdiction. Even when I feel like my life is out of control, I can take comfort in the fact that at least God still has control of the universe and all the important things.

All of those things are true for you and your life, too!

Peace family, let’s you and me both take time today to remember the goodness and power of God. Let’s remember how much bigger he is than our issues, and how the most important thing that we can accomplish or offer is to merely love him. Let’s take some time to be still and know that He is God.

Peace family, how serious are we about the things that entice us away from God?

I’ve been reading through Deuteronomy, and was struck in a new way by something that is pretty common knowledge. In Deuteronomy 13, as the Israelites prepare to go into the promised land, Moses instructs them to put to death false prophets who lead the people away from God. Most of us who were raised in the church know that the punishment for being a false prophet was to be put to death. However, the part that I had never really paid attention to before, is when Moses also goes as far as to say, “If your brother, the son of your mother, your son or your daughter, the wife of your bosom, or your friend who is as your own soul secretly entices you, saying, ‘Let us go and serve other gods,’ which you have not known, neither you nor your fathers, of the gods of the people which are all around you, near to you or far off from you, from one end of the earth to the other end of the earth, you shall not consent to him or listen to him, nor shall your eye pity him, nor shall you spare him or conceal him, but you shall surely kill him…” (Deuteronomy 13:6-9)

Peace family, obviously we do not literally kill people today for attempting to entice us away from God (after all, don’t we all sometimes entice others and our own selves away from him, in one way or another?), but we can definitely learn something from this zero tolerance policy towards things that entice us away from God and obedience to him. It makes me ask myself: Are there activities in my life that I need to “put to death”? What about certain kinds of entertainment? Do I harbor behaviors or relationships that entice me away from God? Or are there ambitions, aspirations, or even fears that lead me away from him, which I need to root out of my life? What idols do I have? It’s time to throw them out.

As Christians, God’s grace is a huge part of our lives, but we need to remember the holiness of God. When we cut out the garbage that draws us away from him, we feel better. We have more energy to dwell in his presence when we aren’t having to mentally stave off everything that would divert our attention away from him. Many times in our culture, we laugh and shrug about things that entice us away from God. Instead, let’s you and me both get serious, today, and honor God with our love and obedience.

Peace family, what do you do when you need refreshment? What do you do when your heart feels hungry?

I recently asked several friends for the different ways that they fed their hearts, when they felt weary or hurting. Every friend had a different answer for what touched and ministered to them.

Of course, the top answers were to read the Bible, pray, and listen to worship music, but there were many other answers.

One friend said that when she feels that way, she sleeps. Another recommended going for a run or getting some other kind of physical movement going. Another suggested going out into nature, whether the woods, a mountain, or the ocean, and considering how large those things are, how large God is, and how small we and our problems are in comparison to him. Other friends recommended volunteering, or acts of service for others, such as visiting a nursing home and doing puzzles with the residents. Still other friends suggested creative things like journaling or doing calligraphy, or just hanging out by a body of water.

Peace family, what are some of the ways that God has provided you with in order to refresh yourself?

It’s hard to pour out onto others when we are empty inside. Take some time this week to refresh yourself! Be still and know that He is God, and He is going to take care of you.