You Were Created to Feel | Jess Rios

May 24, 2018 by Caitlin Curbello

Frustrated with how my day was going and my three-year-old son’s continuous crying, I quickly snapped, “Charlie, please stop crying!”

“Mom, you told me it’s okay to feel,” echoed in between sobs.

Convicted by my own child, who quickly reminded me of a little piece of wisdom I shared with him not even a few weeks prior, I was quickly humbled and sent into a quiet moment with Jesus.

Have you ever been told “It’s okay to feel?” Do you think it’s okay to feel? Do you ever find yourself trying to suppress emotions because you’re annoyed with them or because you’ve been taught emotions are chaotic things we need to hush? I’m a woman, Latina, mom, and a feeler. What does all of that mean? Thanks to gender, genetics, personality type, and hormones, I have all kinds of feelings ebbing and flowing constantly from the moment I wake up to the moment I shut my eyes. And if I’m being honest, most days they annoy me. I find myself annoyed with my own emotions of anger, frustration, and sadness.

At other times I find myself overwhelmed by other people’s emotions: by my husband’s apathy, my son’s dramatic flailing, my mother’s anxiety, my friends’ complaining, etc. Most of my life I have also been told what Queen Elsa has repeated: “Conceal, don’t feel.” But did that ever take care of anything?

I have struggled with crippling anxiety and depression that prevented me from engaging in healthy relationships or doing well in school. I have struggled with raging anger that produced so much shame in my life as a self-proclaimed Christian. I have struggled with other feelings of isolation, rejection, abandonment, hurt, betrayal – you name it.

So often we avoid negative emotions like the plague, we try to self-medicate with television, social media, shopping, alcohol, unhealthy relationships, or any other drugs of choice. We learn quickly how to distract ourselves to not feel because some emotions produce memories that feel too painful to explore. Sometimes we tell ourselves we just don’t have the time. We minimize, hide, shove, and cover up any trace of negative emotion to appear strong, or like a “good” Christian. We tell ourselves we don’t want to hurt others, or others won’t love us if they “really knew,” so we keep from being honest and vulnerable with ourselves and others, dreading being alone with our thoughts and emotions.

If this sounds painfully familiar to you, you’re not alone! It’s okay to feel. Did you know Jesus felt things? Did you know the Bible was full of feelers! There were people who felt betrayed, wronged, misunderstood, and hurt. There were people who tore their clothes out of deep anguish. There were people who laughed, cried, felt bitterness, remorse, abandonment, joy, breakthrough, and so much more. So often we forget this.

Somewhere in our lives we are consciously or unconsciously taught the lie that being vulnerable is bad, and unacceptable, and the only appropriate response for the grocery clerk’s “How are you today” is “good.” Did you know “good” is NOT a feeling? Yet how often is that our response? As a society we have learned and continue to teach others, “feelings are bad.” I’m here to tell you that’s a lie the enemy wants you to believe because there is tremendous power in knowing, exploring, and owning your feelings!

The Bible tells us there’s a time for all things, there’s a time to weep, to laugh, to mourn, to dance (Ecclesiastes 3:4), to empathize with others who weep and rejoice (Romans 12:15). It even tells us “be angry” and how we can experience anger that doesn’t produce sin (Ephesians 4:26). Because the problems are not in our emotions, it’s what we do with those emotions. It’s not a sin to be angry or feel sadness, it’s what we do out of those places when we do not take the time to explore and ask God, “Lord show me what’s going on in my heart, where is this coming from” and allowing Him to heal our wounds. It’s when we hide, cover up, or suppress emotions that the enemy comes to work in darkness. So I spoke life to my three-year-old, I speak life to you today. It’s okay to feel! Take a deep breath, and next time you come across the temptation of shoving away an emotion, instead choose to open your heart to God and ask Him to show you where it’s coming from. Partner with Him in healing anything that needs to be healed. Instead of looking at emotions as disturbances or annoyances, look to them as opportunities to connect with the lover of your soul and growing in a deeper relationship with God. You were created to feel.

M E E T T H I S W O M A N O F F A I T H

Jess Rios is a Cuban, Californian-Texan, that currently resides in Bryan, TX with her husband Carlos, and her two sons. In addition to raising two boys, Jess is working on her masters in counseling and enjoys leading people into deeper freedom through volunteering with Freedom Prayer Brazos Valley. She loves the Brazos Valley community and has a huge heart for seeing women walk in the fullness that God has called them.

Want to read more from Peace Brazos Christian Life magazine? Our full digital edition is online! Click here for more.

Wellness His Way | Self-Care

May 23, 2018 by Caitlin Curbello

Did you know there is a “tire-blowout season?” According to the website, popularmechanics.com, this season extends approximately from the middle of May through early October. This means that as you read this article, we’re entering the “tire-blowout season.”

The months in “tire-blowout season” are marked by hot temperatures and motorists driving long distances, in heavily loaded vehicles. The site notes that the combination of these factors can “push a neglected or injured tire beyond its breaking point.” Please note, it is not the external factors by themselves which cause the tire to blow out. The tire has to already be injured or lacking in necessary care to be adversely affected by the hot temperatures, the long distances, and the heavy weight.

Things that can damage a tire include underinflation, overloading, and potholes. A tire is underinflated when its air pressure is inadequate. This causes the internal components of the tire to flex beyond what they are designed. Each tire is designed to carry a certain amount of weight. When a vehicle is overloaded, this can damage the tire. When a tire slams hard enough into a pothole, the tire’s internals can be damaged.

These details about the causes of a tire blowout have physical, emotional, mental and spiritual implications. Our emotions and bodies function in similar ways, and it is healthy for us to be aware of when we are entering our own “tire-blowout season,” or a season in which we experience high levels of pressure/expectations, increased need for endurance in our responsibilities, and increased mental or emotional load. We can recognize when we have entered these seasons by asking ourselves some key questions: Do I feel more tired than usual? Am I more sad, anxious, or irritable than usual? Do I find it more challenging to rebound well from stressful experiences? Do I feel stretched too thin?

If we find ourselves saying “yes” to the majority of these questions, we may be running the risk of experiencing our own “blow-out” if we haven’t maintained good self-care. Good self-care includes practicing monitoring and maintenance of our wellbeing in order to best support the demands of our daily functioning. Think of good self-care as a triad with three pieces that are foundational to our ability to maintain healthy functioning and good stress management. First, it’s vital that we work towards getting adequate sleep most nights. Adequate sleep is considered to be 7-9 hours per night for most adults. Second, our bodies require balanced nutrition in order for us to maintain the busy pace of our days. We must be sure that we are consuming sufficient quality calories to nourish our bodies and keep up our energy and focus. Third, we need to move our bodies on a consistent basis. Exercise in any form, from walking to intensive cardio, serves two important functions. One, exercise improves our physical health and functioning. Two, exercise serves as a physical release of emotional pressure. The powerful combination of this triad of self-care can increase our sense of control, resilience, good mood, and well-being. Just like damaged tires, feeling ourselves bending under the pressure is typically less about the external circumstances we are facing and more about the integrity of the triad of self-care that we’ve built into our daily routine.

But our ability to ward off “blow-outs” doesn’t stop there. Social support is critical to us feeling less alone during our challenging seasons. Connecting with others on similar life paths and setting aside time to access this type of support should be as non-negotiable to our self-care routine as brushing our teeth. No tire pulls the full weight of the car alone. Additionally, prayer, reading and meditating on the Word of God, and engaging in individual and corporate worship, are to us what air is to a tire. Adequate spiritual sustenance will prevent us from becoming “underinflated” and decrease the likelihood that our inner man will be stretched beyond our limits.

Similarly, we need to learn to set proper boundaries and priorities to avoid “overloading” ourselves. We need to learn to recognize and say what Lysa Terkeurst describes as the “best yes.” We can avoid some “potholes” by listening to the Spirit and taking different routes. But others we encounter simply because “life happens.” Thankfully, regardless of the source(s) or cause(s) of our “blowouts” or the damage or injuries we sustain, our Father, Jehovah Rapha, is able to heal and restore us, so that we can continue on our journey and live as He has planned.

This summer, we invite you to reflect on how you are stewarding your self-care. The more of these healthy habits you have in place, the more resilient you’ll feel despite the challenging seasons you encounter. Consider setting a goal to strengthen an area of your self-care routine and then reflect on how the change impacts your mood and outlook. Be kind to yourself, and understand that changing habits doesn’t happen overnight. If you miss the mark of a new goal, recommit to starting anew as soon as you catch yourself falling back into old habits. Celebrate small changes and improvements you make and applaud yourself for lowering your risk of an “emotional blow-out” this season. We are cheering you on to Wellness His way!

Jeanette Madkins, PhD, ABPP | Esther W. Wright, PhD, ABPP

Dr. Jeanette Madkins is a licensed and Board Certified counseling psychologist. In her private practice, Dr. Madkins specializes in issues that affect the hearts and minds of women, including anxiety, depression, maternal mental health/perinatal anxiety and depression, diversity concerns, relationship issues, infertility, infidelity survivorship, trauma survivorship, pregnancy loss, and post-abortion counseling. With over 15 years of psychotherapy experience, she uses a collaborative and integrative approach to support women as they regain their sense of stability and work towards wellness and healing. She also teaches, provides professional training seminars and supervision for other clinicians, and writes. For more information about Dr. Madkins and her practice, please see www.drjmadkins.com.

Dr. Esther W. Wright is a licensed and Board Certified counseling psychologist. For over 14 years, she has worked with college students in a university counseling center. Her areas of special interest are therapeutic writing, spirituality, multiculturalism, wellness, relationship concerns and women’s issues. Dr. Wright utilizes an integrative orientation in her work with emphases on culturally sensitive cognitive behavioral, interpersonal, and psychodynamic perspectives. Dr. Wright is also a published poet and author, and believes firmly in the transformative and healing power of words.

Want to read more from Peace Brazos Christian Life magazine? Our full digital edition is online! Click here for more.

Why It’s Okay to Enjoy Wealth | Dave Ramsey

May 22, 2018 by Caitlin Curbello

What Does the Bible Say?
So, how do spiritually mature people view wealth? Here’s Dave’s answer, in an excerpt from The Legacy Journey.

Much of the toxic teaching about wealth is the result of spiritual immaturity. Some people are hit with the “money is evil” message so hard that they honestly feel guilty if they start to win. That’s a trap! If money were evil, then why would God’s Word contain so many examples of incredible, faithful men and women who have massive wealth and yet whose devotion to God is never questioned? Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Job, David, Solomon, Joseph of Arimathea, and Lydia are just a few examples of biblical heroes who honored God with the wealth He gave them.

The fifth and sixth chapters of Ecclesiastes contain some of the hardest, most sobering teachings about wealth in all of Scripture. Those passages make it clear that wealth is a responsibility, and it’s easy for that responsibility to lead some people off a spiritual (and financial) cliff. Like I said, money is dangerous, and if you see yourself as the owner instead of the manager, wealth will lead you into trouble every time. However, if you keep your perspective straight—if you are always aware of the fact that you’re just a steward of what God owns—then you have every right to enjoy the blessings and benefits of that gift.

Now, because I told you to always keep the broader biblical context in mind, let’s look at Ecclesiastes for a minute. Tradition says that it was written by King Solomon in his old age. What do we know about Solomon? I can think of two things right off the bat. First, God blessed him with wisdom beyond what had ever been known before. Second, Solomon was probably the wealthiest person in history up to that point. So, God gave him wisdom, and God gave him wealth. Wisdom and wealth. That’s a pretty powerful combination. Of course, Solomon made mistakes. His wisdom and obedience to God were imperfect at times—after all, he was human. By the time he wrote Ecclesiastes, he had been through major ups and downs in his spiritual, personal, emotional, and financial life. He had seen it all, and at this point, he’s ready to talk about it. So what does he say?

He spends most of chapter 5 warning us about the dangers of wealth and greed, which some use to support the “wealth is evil” belief. But, at the end of a rant against the misuse of wealth, Solomon pulls back and makes this observation:

Here is what I have seen: It is good and fitting for one to eat and drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labor in which he toils under the sun all the days of his life which God gives him; for it is his heritage. As for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, and given him power to eat of it, to receive his heritage and rejoice in his labor—this is the gift of God. (Ecclesiastes 5:18–19)

These two verses blow my mind! What is the focus of this message? It isn’t me; it’s not saying, “Look what I’ve done! I’m so awesome!” It isn’t work; it’s not saying, “My job is my provider.” It isn’t wealth; it’s not saying, “Money is the goal, so go get you some.” It isn’t even the enjoyment of wealth or the different ways you can bless others with it. There is one and only one focus of these two verses: God.

This passage makes it perfectly clear. God is the One who gives us “all the days of [our] life.” God gives us work. He gives us the energy and power to do the work. He gives us the riches and wealth” that come from our work. And—don’t miss this—He gives us the “power to eat of it” and “rejoice in [our] labor.” It’s all from God! The days, the work, the power to work, the reward from work, and even the enjoyment of the reward—the whole thing is His from start to finish! This is His gift to us, and it’s not our option to enjoy it. Scripture says that it is our “heritage” to “enjoy the good of all [our] labor”!

God gives us these blessings to faithfully manage, and that means we should always be wise stewards. It means we should always be giving. It means we should always be taking care of our families. And yes, it means that we should actually enjoy the unbelievable blessings He has put in our hands! Spiritually mature people with a right view of God’s ownership can do all of that. We don’t have to be scared of the wealth or ashamed of the fact that wealth enables us to do some fun things. That’s what my friend Dan Scott meant when he said, “Adults are called to manage dangerous things well for the glory of God.” We’re adults, and we’re managing these things for God. According to Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, part of managing our God-given wealth is honoring God with our enjoyment of that blessing.

Dave Ramsey is America’s trusted voice on money and business. He’s authored four New York Times best-selling books: Financial Peace, More Than Enough, The Total Money Makeover, and EntreLeadership. His newest book, written by his daughter Rachel Cruze, is titled Smart Money Smart Kids.

Want to read more from Peace Brazos Christian Life magazine? Our full digital edition is online! Click here for more.

Faith & Business | Suzanne’s School of Dance

May 21, 2018 by Caitlin Curbello

1. What is your business, and what do you do?
I am the owner of Suzanne’s School of Dance together with my husband, Patrick Sleebos. We offer quality dance classes in an uplifting environment. Our motto is “Excellence of dance and heart.”

2. What does it mean to be a Christian dance studio? How does your faith impact the way you run your business?
Our studio family is built on five main core values: Worship, Respect, Communication, Excellence, and Joy.
Above all else we desire to honor the Lord in all aspects of our business. Whether we are performing, picking out modest costumes, or communicating, we do our best to uphold our faith values.

3. Running a business can be hectic. As a Christian business owner, how do you balance your faith, family, and business?
Owning a business and being a mom is difficult. I wouldn’t change it, though! However, it is challenging to find balance. I believe that the correct order is God first, family second, and my business third. There are moments when I find myself struggling with His Kingdom order. When this happens, everything suffers because that’s not how God intended it to be. God, in His kindness, always shows me when this happens. It is a continual place of surrender in my heart. The Lord has helped me over the years to create healthy boundaries to guard my family time.

photo provided by Suzanne’s School of Dance

4. Are there any verses in the Bible that you find helpful or encouraging in running a business? Why do these verses inspire/encourage you?

“The joy of the Lord is my strength.” -Nehemiah 8:10

This verse gives me strength. I’m reminded that God is my joy no matter what I face. His Joy is a gift that I can grab hold of every second of every day. I encourage my staff to do the same.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

-2 Corinthians 12:9

These words are so comforting. I’m not expected to be perfect! The Lord is always there if I will just humble myself and call on Him. He desires to be involved in every area of my life including my business. It’s up to me if I will invite him in and really lean on his strength and power and not my own.

5. How do you feel that God uses you as His light in the dance industry?
Every year we put on Spring Shows that have a Christian message. It is held at a public venue and free of cost. We believe that dance has the ability to touch hearts in a way that words cannot. Our next shows will be held at Rudder on Saturday, May 26th and Sunday, May 27th.

Another way is through our companies at Suzanne’s. They do Bible studies together on a regular basis and use their gifts to serve in this community. We provide a safe environment for dancers of all ages to grow in their talents while learning to worship through them.

6. Can you share with our readers one lesson you feel God has taught you in your years of owning a business?
There are so many lessons I’ve learned from owning my business. It has been the most humbling experience for me over the last five years. There have been many challenging moments. However, the high points definitely outweigh the lows. When I see all the lives we get to positively affect on a weekly basis, my heart is so satisfied and grateful. I love my job!

One big lesson for me has been to know our calling and sticking to it. It’s so easy to get distracted and compare. Over this last year, we have been focusing on our strengths and putting aside the areas that shouldn’t be our focus. While they may be good things, it doesn’t mean it is for us. We don’t want to try and fit another mold. For us, anytime our team makes a decision we ask ourselves this question, “does it fit in our core values?” We are all called to run our race. We are learning what it is to stay in our lane and keep our eyes on Jesus.

Want to read more from Peace Brazos Christian Life magazine? Our full digital edition is online! Click here for more.

Follow the Leader, Lead the Follower

November 3, 2017 by Caitlin Curbello

When we see or hear of a “great” person, we hardly know of the trials they had to overcome to achieve this “greatness.” Let’s face it, no “great” person made themselves. Their character and wisdom are gained through decades of hard lessons or being humble and teachable. As Christians, we are called to have wise and trusted counsel by ones who properly represent the Word of God and not by selfish or worldly motives. Moses was mentored by Jethro, his father-in-law, Samuel by Eli, and Jesus mentored His disciples.

So, if you were to choose one person in the Bible to be your mentor, who would it be? Well, of course you would say Jesus, right? Ok, so who would your second choice be? Although choosing Paul is extremely tempting, my choice would be Elijah, and here’s why. Not only did he have a personal relationship with God, but he relied on Him for everything. Seeing his faith in action makes me want to know how I can get there. Elijah was zealous for the will of God and Israel. His humble heart and suppressed pride showed us that Yahweh was the one in charge in his life.

Elijah’s devotion to God was as bold as his name, which is translated “my God is Yahweh.” I’m sure you remember reading that during this dark period in Israel’s history over eight hundred years before Christ, King Ahab and Queen Jezebel were murdering countless priests and prophets of Yahweh and replacing them with the prophets of Ba’al and Asherah. Nevertheless, Elijah’s strength was from the Lord and no matter how uncomfortable it made him, Elijah relied on God for ALL things and obediently acted upon His will and timing.

As an illustration, here are some of God’s works through Elijah: He confronted king Ahab of his evil doings and announced a consequential drought; retreated to the brook of Cherith relying on God to provide sustenance by ravens; lived with an extremely poor widow, again relying on God to feed them by the miraculous replenishment of oil and flour; brought back the son of the widow from death; confronted 450 prophets of Ba’al by himself on Mt. Carmel; poured water over the sacrifice, which was consumed by His Fire; made it rain to end the drought; was cared for and strengthened by an angel; met God face to face; parted waters; and to top it all, never experienced death because he was taken into heaven in a whirlwind.

We look at this list of miracles in awe of the power of God but the truth is, He could do this for every believer and not break a sweat. For me, the miracle is the obedience and faith of Elijah. He knew that if he correctly heard and was obedient to God, he had no reason to be anxious about anything. My favorite out of all the above miracles is when Elijah heard Yahweh in a gentle whisper while meeting with Him face to face. God didn’t show himself in the powerful wind that tore the mountain apart, not in the earthquake nor the fire, but in a gentle whisper.

Isn’t that what we want or expect most of the time? We expect this huge miracle with fanfare. We expect the voice of God to be louder than the distractions around us. Unfortunately, that is usually not the case. To have a fruitful relationship with the Holy Spirit, we need to have our senses in tune and in line with His prompting. It’s your responsibility and honor to humble yourself to serve the will of God, to quiet yourself from the distractions around you so you can have an open and honest relationship with Him. Oh, and although I would love to know how Elijah reached this level of relationship with Yahweh, I would selfishly love more for him to “show me” how to do it. To me, that is what a mentor is.

So, I have two questions for you. Who is YOUR mentor and who do YOU mentor? The first is one whom God has placed in your life to help guide you to have that personal relationship with the Holy Spirit. This is someone who will properly encourage you in reaching the destiny that God has in store for you: a life where He provides contentment and peace, regardless of the circumstances, and leads you to an honorable life with and for Christ. Jesus said in Matthew 16:24, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”

By the same calling, we should actively seek to mentor others. This should start first in the home, as parents should be solid examples of how Christ expects you to live. Second, inside the church where new believers need guidance, growing deep in their knowledge of Word of God. Third, in the community, where we grow and encourage one another. Finally, in the world, as Jesus declares in the Great Commission to, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:16-20)

Seven Questions with a Pastor: Wade Phillips of Madisonville Christian Fellowship

November 3, 2017 by Caitlin Curbello

What caused you to want to be a Pastor?

If I’m to be honest, I never wanted to be a Pastor. I accepted Christ at the age of 31 and if you would have asked me then if I would be a Pastor one day, the answer would have been a resounding: “are you crazy?” I had worked for the Texas Department of Criminal Justice for over 12 years and had every intention of staying thirty years and drawing a full retirement. But, God had other plans for me. About three or four years after I accepted Christ, He revealed the need for youth workers in our church and my wife and I answered the call as a Bi-vocational youth Pastor. Then in 2008, I began to feel the call to preach the Word. The rest is history. God called, I answered, and He used me to do His bidding. So, basically the answer is “God.”

As a pastor, how do you balance church, your family, and your personal walk with God?

This is the greatest struggle for any Pastor. At first, I allowed the church to take up every minute of my time. I thought that I had to be at everything since I was the Pastor. It wasn’t long that I began to feel the stress of the job weigh me down. I quickly figured out that God had set an order of things for a reason. He comes first, family comes second, the church comes third. I start off most days in my office praying and studying the Word. It’s vital that I am filled with the Word so I can impart it to the people. I also keep a weekly calendar and I try to make sure I don’t overload myself. Finally, I take vacations. I went three years without missing a Sunday because I thought I had to be there. But, now I realize I must take time for my wife and myself. It took a while, but God revealed the right path for success without too much stress.

What is your church’s vision for people?

Matthew 22:37-40 says, “And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment.The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.” Our vision statement is “Loving God and Loving People.” So, the answer to the question is simply, “we plan on Loving People.” Loving them to Salvation through Christ. Loving them in fellowship with fellow believers. Loving them in Discipleship through biblical training. And, loving them into service for the Kingdom.

Which Bible character do you relate to the most, and why?

I most relate to Paul. Paul was a person who was determined to tear down Christianity because he was focused on religion. While he knew who God was, he, like most other religious leaders of the time missed the Messiah. He was so blinded by his religion that he couldn’t see the Son of God right in front of him. I was so blinded by my sin, I couldn’t see Jesus. But like Paul, I had an encounter with Christ. Paul encountered Him on a road to Damascus, and I encountered Him at a men’s meeting on October 9^th , 2001. And just like Paul, the scales fell from my eyes and I could truly see for the first time in my life. He was then able to use me to spread His truth.

What does a typical Sunday morning at your church look like?

The first word that comes to mind is “friendly.” Yes, while we have a lot of pre-service rehearsing, and lots of preparation at the various service areas, what really sticks out about Madisonville Christian Fellowship is that it’s a friendly, welcoming experience. We believe people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. When you walk into our church you will find a microcosm of our community. We have people from various ethnic, social and cultural backgrounds and they are all engaged in Love. So, the short answer is, it looks like Love.

What advice would you give to someone who wants to grow in their relationship with Jesus?

In the song He Lives, the chorus says “He lives, He lives, Christ Jesus lives today! He walks with me and He talks with me Along life’s narrow way. He lives, He lives, salvation to impart! You ask me how I know He lives: He lives within my heart.” To grow closer to Christ, you must realize that He is with you every step of every day. He is in your heart through the Spirit. Yes, you need to be in the Word. Yes, you need to be in prayer. Yes, you need to be in church. But, most importantly you need that daily walk with the Son of God. Once you realize He is with you everywhere you will begin to talk to Him in every circumstance. And when you begin to have that daily communication, He will fill you up in a way that causes you to grow deeper in His love.

What is something that the Lord has been teaching you recently?

The decisions I make don’t have to please people, they only must please God. Human beings automatically want to please each other. We long for approval from our peers. If I have learned anything over the years of my ministry it’s that you can’t please everyone on every occasion. Our decisions must be focused on pleasing God and not our congregations. Even if something isn’t popular; if it’s biblical, it is necessary. As a teacher of God’s word, James tells us we will be held to a higher accountability by God. Lately, the Spirit has been reminding me that God’s will far outweighs man’s.

Women of Faith: Cultivating a Spirit of Perpetual Thanksgiving

November 3, 2017 by Caitlin Curbello

For centuries, our nation has been conditioned to turn its focus to a season of gratitude as we usher in the autumn months. In more recent years, many have even begun to turn to social media to record their daily “thankful fors” throughout the month of November. The Bible is full of verses that encourage us to practice the discipline of giving thanks. Thessalonians 5:18 even describes giving thanks in all circumstances as God’s work for us. Thanksgiving, therefore is not something we should exhibit for only a season, but is instead, a year-round assignment.

By the very definition of the word, “work” is not something that comes easily, but rather requires effort. However, with practice and discipline, we can hone our ability to exhibit gratefulness to the point that it becomes second nature. Here are a few ways to help cultivate an attitude of perpetual gratitude:

Be intentional about expressing appreciation to others.

No man is an island. Most of us interact with others on a daily basis, and these encounters often result in their providing help, support or encouragement that enriches our lives. This could range from refilling our drinks at dinner, to collaborating on a project at work, or simply listening. When a thought of gratitude for someone who has blessed you crosses your mind, act on it right away instead of dismissing it. This might mean penning an “old fashioned” thank you note (a true novelty in today’s day and age), sending a quick (but specific) text message of thanks, or even a more public recognition of appreciation by means of a social media post. While any one of these methods of thanks would not doubt be well-received, face-to-face interaction is hard to top. A heart-felt, spoken expression of thankfulness (perhaps more than just the word, “Thanks”) coupled with eye contact and a genuine smile can convey a warmth that blesses both the speaker and the recipient.

Take the Joy Dare.

Writer, Ann Voscamp has an excellent, free online resource available for developing a spirit of thanksgiving 365 days a year. The Joy Dare, best completed as a journaling project, consists of a daily prompt challenging the writer to search for gifts (or blessings) in three, specific categories. These daily cues help the writer to think outside of the box, and keep their eyes open to common place blessings that might have otherwise escaped their attention. As the project goes on, the participant will find that they have become conditioned to looking for blessings all around them, contributing to a sense of wonder and appreciation in the every day.

“It’s habits that can imprison you and it’s habits that can free you. But when thanks to God becomes a habit – so joy in God becomes your life.”

—Ann Voscamp

Various studies have shown that keeping a gratitude list may contribute to a relative absence of stress and depression^[1], progress toward important personal goals^[2], higher levels of determination an energy^[3], deepen existing relationships and desire to build stronger relationships^[4], and increase general happiness by 25%^[5]. With all the benefits of a lifestyle of thanksgiving, it becomes more apparent that God has intended this “work” for our good.

Dedicate time in prayer, specifically for giving thanks.

As we become more attuned to the practice of pausing and reflecting on our blessings, it is only appropriate to express our thanks to the One from whom every good and perfect gift comes (James 1:17). If we aren’t careful, daily (or even less-frequent) prayer time can easily become a laundry list of needs and wants that no-doubt paint us as ungrateful, entitled children to our Father. Instead of leading with a list of demands, try opening your time of prayer in reflection of who God is and spend some time simply thanking Him for these aspects of His character and the specific ways in which you have sensed His presence. Similarly to the Joy Dare—when we pause and ponder God’s movement in our life, it helps shift our perspective and focus to details we may have otherwise overlooked in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives.

God unceasingly lavishes his love and mercy on us every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). This year, don’t wait for November to start counting blessings.. Begin giving thanks right now, and let it become a way of life as you lean into the work God has called you to, year-round.

Recommended Reading: Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voscamp

^[1]Woods et al., 2008

^[2] Emmons and McCullough, 2003

^[3] Emmons and Mccullough, 2003

^[4] Algoe and Haidt, 2009

^[5] McCullough et al., 2002

Finding Love Half-Way Around the World: An Adoption Story

May 17, 2017 by Caitlin Curbello

In April of 2004, Will and Sherri Sakson embarked on a journey that would change their lives, and their family, forever. The Sakson’s wanted a baby: someone that they could love, cherish, and nurture. Little did they know that their simple desire would lead them half-way around the world with 13 other families desiring the same thing.

After trying, without success, to conceive naturally, Will and Sherri Sakson felt a shift in their hearts. “We began to feel a different calling, a calling to adopt,” explained Will. “Love is an infinite thing. You can’t run out of it. We knew that we had love to share. We had something worth sharing with someone: our faith, our marriage, our home.” Thus began the Sakson’s journey to find Zoe, the daughter awaiting them on the other side of the world

“The first 6 months was a paper chase,” explained Will concerning the process of filing for adoption. Locating documents, submitting forms, and meeting with social workers, consumed much of the next year. However, nearly 12 months later, all the waiting became worth it. In April of 2005, Sherri and Will received the document containing the identity of their soon-to-be daughter. In an instant, they were ready to bring her home. Six weeks later, the Saksons found themselves on a plane to do just that.

Will and Sherri used Great Wall Adoption, a non-profit located in Austin, Texas throughout their adoption process. Great Wall Adoption has assisted the Chinese Government in placing more than 9,000 children with families. In April 2005, there were thirteen families adopting children alongside the Saksons. Soon after arriving, these thirteen families found themselves together in a conference room in Lan Zhou, China, anxiously anticipating the moment that would change their lives forever.

All eyes were trained on the elevator doors attached to the conference room: every parent knowing that once the doors opened, they would gaze for the first time into the eyes of their child. As the doors opened, groups of people carrying babies exited. “It was all very surreal,” explained Will while depicting the gravity and overwhelming joy of the moment. Tears flowed freely from the eyes of moms, babies, and dads alike. The room buzzed with happiness and newfound love, every family swapping cameras and taking photos for each other.

After eight more days of bonding and fellowship, the Sakson family returned to the States with Zoe, their daughter. Will and Sherri were greeted at the airport by their parents and in-laws. Reflecting on that day, Will remarks, “It was so great to let her meet her grandparents”. The journey to finding Zoe had ended, and a new life, full of amazing experiences and adventure, awaited.

Though many years have passed, the families that gathered in the conference room on that fateful day share a bond unlike any other. They remain in close contact and get together as much as they can. Since being back in the States, they have had two reunions, one of which was hosted by the Sakson’s in College Station, Texas.

In ten short days, Zoe will be thirteen years old. Her father, still as in love as he was the moment he first laid eyes on her, proudly remarks, “She is a great kid. She is everything that you would want your child to be.”

7 Questions: Rev. Caressa Murray & Rev. Jonathan Murray

May 16, 2017 by Caitlin Curbello

7 Questions

with Rev. Caressa Murray & Rev. Jonathan Murray of Covenant Presbyterian

What makes your church a home for those seeking the Lord?

Covenant Presbyterian is a place where all are welcome, no matter your stage of faith – whether you are new to the faith, grew up in the faith, or it’s been a long while. We are all seeking the Lord, but we find ourselves in different phases of our walk in faith. Covenant is a place where you can come and be yourself – whether you are at a good place in life or find yourself struggling or in need of healing. Covenant is a place of grace where you encounter God through worship and relationships with one another.

This issue of Peace Magazine is all about serving the community. What are some of the benefits of serving? As Christians, are we called to serve?

We are called to put our faith into action and be the hands and feet of Christ in the world today. This world is a broken and hurting place, and now, more than ever, Christians are called to serve so the world might encounter “Jesus with skin-on.” The benefits of serving are seeing peoples’ lives transformed, encountering God in new and different ways, and getting a glimpse of God’s kingdom here and now.

What is your favorite character in the Bible and why?

Rev. Caressa: My favorite character in the bible is actually a dynamic duo: Mary and Martha. I seek to be like Mary, carving out time in the daily “to do’s” to sit at the feet of Jesus to listen and learn. At the same time, I resonate with Martha in her diligent and heartfelt task-oriented ambition to serve. I seek to have a heart like Mary in the busy world of Martha!

Rev. Jonathan: Despite the brash personality quirks, I admire John the Baptizer, because everything he does points to Christ. He knows he is unworthy, and yet his role is to lead others to recognize and interact with God in the new Kingdom come and coming.

What impact has serving, either in church or in the community, had on you as an individual?

When I serve others, I am compelled to break through the cultural barriers and stereotypes and see people for who they really are – a beloved child of God, uniquely and wonderfully made in God’s image. I no longer see black or white, rich or poor, whole or broken, but my eyes are opened to a brother or sister in need. By serving others, I am humbled and reminded that I too am a child of God in need of God’s transforming grace.

What is the purpose of the local church?

The Church exists to gather the Body of Christ: the broken and the healed; the lost and the found; the haves and the have nots; the newbies and the veterans of the faith, to encounter God’s Living Word and give thanks and praise for who God is and what God has done, is doing, and will do. The church encourages people to learn and grow in their faith, and empowers people to discover their gift and niche for God’s ministry and put that into practice.

How does your church serve the community?

Covenant is committed to serving others through hands-on mission, sharing of resources, financial support, and prayer. Within its walls, Covenant provides facilities and resources for two Boy Scout troops and three Girl Scout troops, community groups, like the Brazos Valley Community Band, and provides a full-time childcare facility and a part-time day school for families in the surrounding neighborhoods. Covenant serves the young people of the community by providing a safe place for our youth to grow and learn in faith through experiences to serve others.

Jesus commands us to go forth and make disciples. How can Christians do this in their daily lives?

By being connected to God, the Vine, we are empowered to branch out. “Going forth and making disciples” must be a daily activity. As disciples, we are to be aware of God’s presence and seek to participate with God, who is at work in and around us. As Christians, we are to be intentional about finding ways to meet people where they are, hear their story, share our story, and welcome them into God’s story. When we do, we open the door for the story to be unfolded and God’s impact to be made in the lives of another, and that is when disciples are made.

Life in the Middle by Tammy Whitehurst

May 3, 2017 by Caitlin Curbello

Life in the Middle

by Tammy Whitehurst

Life isn’t sugar coated. It can leave us upside down and spinning around. It would be great if it was as simple as doing the hokey pokey and turning ourselves around. But, it’s rarely that easy. Life has a beginning and an ending. It’s the things in the middle that build our character, strength, patience, and most of all our faith. The middle is life’s wilderness filled with struggles, strains, tears and fears. A jungle of sorts. The good news is we can grow there.

In the middle is where we go our way or God’s way. Many of us have tried both. It didn’t take long to realize we needed the hand of Jesus to walk us through. In the middle is the realization of how fast time flies, how to make the most of life, how messes make us stronger, and how to finish with a focus. God doesn’t promise life to be all roses and red hots, but He does promise it is going to be worth it in the end. If our goal is to finish strong, we must make it through the middle.

Time Flies

Life has a big bulldozer called time and it doesn’t come with brakes. We watch our children go from diapers to dates in no time flat. We have learned a few things through the years and now we can look forward to the days ahead. We discover we are wiser as the wrinkles begin to claim space on our face. Friendships take on a deeper meaning. Stopping to smell the roses is finally understood. We realize staring death in the face, rising above it, and emerging stronger is possible.

By this age, we have seen modern day miracles, and we can laugh in the face of a challenge. We fight with faith instead of fists. We realize a step backwards after a step forward is not a complete disaster; it’s the cha-cha. Most of us have danced it a long time before we realized a waltz with the Word was more satisfying. There are unexpected delights in the days ahead. Don’t miss a single moment of what God is teaching through life in the middle.

Life Is What We Make Of It

Do you ever feel like you’re running in circles making no progress? We all have dreams and goals we want to fulfill. But life is confusing and chaotic at times.

We all remember the days of looking eye to eye at someone and saying, “Make me.” Our days are what we make of them. We can make an entrance, make it work, or make a mistake. We can make believe, make memories, make a mess, or make up our mind. We can make some noise, and in some instances make up for lost time. Our journey in life will be what we make of it. Let’s make it a journey that kicks life up a notch by asking God to use the messes in the middle and show us the beauty in the midst of the mess.

In The Mess Is A Message

If we are honest, we will admit life not a walk in the park. There comes a point when we will stare at the biggest challenge of our life and realize we are not in control. There is good news. We have a Messiah named Jesus to lean on. He gives us peace through life in the middle of all the mess. If we lean on Him when we need strength and trust Him even if we do not understand, we will be okay. We have had days when we wondered if that was true. But when we take it one day at a time, our Savior will clean up our messes. In the middle of the mess we become stronger.

Begin the day focusing on what really matters. Find reasons to be thankful. Remind yourself that Jesus is in the middle with you and will work things out in His time.

Focus on the Finish Line

Don’t give up. Life is not about who finishes first. It is about who finishes —–period. Just get through the middle. We cannot move forward, sideways, or any way because we are stuck in the rut of worry. It leads to relational, emotional, and yes, even physical problems. It is a view that somehow God lost control of the situation.

He didn’t.

Our problems are not too big for God to handle. Be a warrior not a worrier. Take it one day at a time to get to the finish line.

Beginnings set the stage and the end sums life up, but the middle always tells the story. Your story has power even if you think it’s not fancy. It’s not about being in the spotlight. It’s about discovering the Light. The true light in the darkness. It’s about surviving rock bottom and knowing where the strength to rise comes from when you are still in the middle. It’s about the trials that lead to triumphs in the end. Your story can help people get right side up when everything is upside down.

With all Paul endured while in the middle of his life, the apostle tells us in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18: “Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory. So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

Previously published in Lifeway Mature Years 2015
Tammy Whitehurst is a Christian motivational speaker and writer from Texas who is an empty nester living on the lake with her husband and german shepherd. To learn more about her go to TammyWhitehurst.com