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Wellness His Way | The Peace of Advent

November 12, 2018 by Caitlin Curbello

Advent is a season of preparation for Christmas and extends over a period of four weeks. Unlike the physical preparations for Christmas – decorating our homes, making gift lists, baking, etc. – the preparations of Advent are primarily internal. It is the preparation of our spirits, a turning of hearts and minds to the truth summarized in John 3:16 (but woven throughout Scripture) – the love of God for us. Four themes are emphasized during Advent: hope, peace, joy, and love. This issue we will explore the theme of peace, consider its relevance to our well-being, and explore how to weave peace into our preparations for and celebration of the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

The Christmas season is often characterized by early bird sales, gifts to package and mail, long lines, and even longer gift lists to fulfill. The season is a time of revelry for some. For others, it can be a time of increased worry, stress, and anxiety. For many, the Christmas season reminds them of family conflict, pressure to meet the expectations of others, and resources that don’t seem to stretch quite far enough. There is so much on the mind and the frantic pace of preparations may seem conducive to everything except peace.

While the bright lights and carols seem to move everyone else into the Christmas spirit, some can feel even more emotionally stretched and drained. In these moments, our focus can become narrowed, our energy can be sapped, and our reserve of emotional resiliency can shrink as our peace slowly gets sacrificed on the altar of our holiday worries.

“Prince of Peace” is one of the names given to Jesus, the Child who was born and the Son who was given (Isaiah 9:6). In the midst of the hustle and bustle, the Prince of Peace calls us to Himself. If we heed His call, we can receive His blessed assurance given through the prophet Isaiah: “You will keep in perfect and constant peace the one whose mind is steadfast [that is, committed and focused on You – in both inclination and character]. Because he trusts and takes refuge in You [with hope and confident expectation]” (Isaiah 26:3, AMP). This is the key to experiencing peace in the midst of the hustle and bustle – keeping our mind, “committed and focused” on God. How can we do this?

Make the decision to be at peace.

Some believe peace to be an emotional experience that is elusive and reserved for the few special ones, not those of us who experience the stress of our daily lives. That couldn’t be further from the truth of His word. We are reminded, “Do not be anxious or worried about anything, but in everything [every circumstance and situation] by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, continue to make your [specific] requests known to God. The peace of God [that peace which] reassures the heart, [that peace which] transcends all understanding, [that peace which] stands guard over your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus [is yours]” (Philippians 4:6-7, AMP). Peace is for every one of us and is accessible through our consistent practice of two things: thanksgiving (gratitude) and making our requests known to God (prayer).

We are told that if we do these two things, we will have access to peace that covers all situations, calms our hearts, and guards our hearts and minds. Even better, this peace that He gives, this gift of peace, is different from the peace that the world gives. It is not fragile or dependent on circumstances. Our experience of His peace may vary but the quality of His peace does not change. It endures because it is based on the Prince of Peace, not our merit or circumstances. Make the decision to access and receive the peace that is readily available to you, in every stressful moment, in every anxious experience… simply find something to thank Him for and ask Him for what you need.

Prioritize activities that prioritize Christ Jesus.

The Christmas season can be full of busy activities but too often, we and those in our immediate circle become the focus of these festive moments. How can we shift the focus from ourselves to Christ Jesus, the One whose birth we are supposed to be celebrating? How can we prioritize activities that prioritize Him? First, we must identify the activities that prioritize Him and focus on Him as the “main event.”

Worship and reading Scripture passages are two such activities. Worship shifts our focus from everything else to Him. There is a place for the classic Christmas songs that may elicit warm memories and emotions, for example, “The Christmas Song” or “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”. These songs, however, speak of Santa and reindeer, chestnuts roasting and friends coming together, but include nothing of the Savior, unlike songs such as, “Oh Holy Night” or “Joy to the world.” Consider creating a playlist of worship songs that focus on Him and be intentional about worshipping Him through music.

In addition, consider reading Advent Scripture passages out loud. Any search engine using the words, “Advent Scriptures” is one way to find these verses. Or perhaps you already have a favorite passage of Scripture. Either way, consider reading the verse(s) out loud, listening as if you are hearing them for the first time, then giving thanks to God for the truths in them and praying with a focus on the themes highlighted.

Treat rest as a non-negotiable.

It is much easier to become irritated and frustrated when we are tired and not adequately rested. Remember how our parents knew we needed a nap when we were young? That’s right, we had meltdowns, even in public places. As adults, our needs for rest remain just as important as they were back then, only now we have gotten far more sophisticated at masking our fatigue with elaborate attempts at covering our eroding sense of peace.

We occupy ourselves with long to-do lists, convince ourselves that we have no time to rest, and resist His urges to let the world go on spinning without us for a period while we find respite in His sweet peace. Just as He called His disciples to rest (Mark 6:30-32) He does the same to us. And the longer we resist His rest, the more irritable, cranky, short-tempered, and emotional we become. This holiday season, let’s remember one of the primary reasons for the Advent season. As stated by Rev. Dr. Mark D. Roberts,

“Christians prepare for celebrating the birth of Jesus by remembering the longing of the Jews for a Messiah. In Advent, we’re reminded of how much we ourselves also need a Savior, and we look forward to our Savior’s second coming even as we prepare to celebrate his first coming at Christmas. The word ‘Advent’ comes from the Latin word adventus, which means ‘coming’ or ‘visit.’ In the season with this name, we keep in mind both ‘advents’ of Christ, the first in Bethlehem and the second yet to come.”

The holiday season can consume our energy and focus, and can pull us into the dangerous illusion that the season is about the gifts, rather than Jesus, the Gift (John 3:16). This season, lean into Him, remember that you need the Savior, and intentionally schedule periods of rest and time away with Him. Let us focus our attention on Him and experience His peace during this Christmas season. Then we will feel ready and capable of moving into the new season He grants with the start of the New Year. We can’t wait to begin that with you soon! Until then, as always, be kind to yourself, remember that changing habits takes time, and celebrate small successes as you go. We are cheering you on to Wellness His Way!

Jeanette Madkins, PhD, ABPP | Esther W. Wright, PhD, ABPP


Dr. Jeanette Madkins is a licensed and Board Certified counseling psychologist. In her private practice, Dr. Madkins specializes in issues that affect the hearts and minds of women, including anxiety, depression, maternal mental health/perinatal anxiety and depression, diversity concerns, relationship issues, infertility, infidelity survivorship, trauma survivorship, pregnancy loss, and post-abortion counseling. With over 15 years of psychotherapy experience, she uses a collaborative and integrative approach to support women as they regain their sense of stability and work towards wellness and healing. She also teaches, provides professional training seminars and supervision for other clinicians, and writes. For more information about Dr. Madkins and her practice, please see www.drjmadkins.com.

 

Dr. Esther W. Wright is a licensed and Board Certified counseling psychologist. For over 14 years, she has worked with college students in a university counseling center. Her areas of special interest are therapeutic writing, spirituality, multiculturalism, wellness, relationship concerns and women’s issues. Dr. Wright utilizes an integrative orientation in her work with emphases on culturally sensitive cognitive behavioral, interpersonal, and psychodynamic perspectives. Dr. Wright is also a published poet and author, and believes firmly in the transformative and healing power of words.

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Women of Faith: Cultivating a Spirit of Perpetual Thanksgiving

November 3, 2017 by Caitlin Curbello


For centuries, our nation has been conditioned to turn its focus to a season of gratitude as we usher in the autumn months.  In more recent years, many have even begun to turn to social media to record their daily “thankful fors” throughout the month of November. The Bible is full of verses that encourage us to practice the discipline of giving thanks.  Thessalonians 5:18 even describes giving thanks in all circumstances as God’s work for us.  Thanksgiving, therefore is not something we should exhibit for only a season, but is instead, a year-round assignment.

 

By the very definition of the word, “work” is not something that comes easily, but rather requires effort.  However, with practice and discipline, we can hone our ability to exhibit gratefulness to the point that it becomes second nature. Here are a few ways to help cultivate an attitude of perpetual gratitude:

 

Be intentional about expressing appreciation to others.

No man is an island.  Most of us interact with others on a daily basis, and these encounters often result in their providing help, support or encouragement that enriches our lives. This could range from refilling our drinks at dinner, to collaborating on a project at work, or simply listening.  When a thought of gratitude for someone who has blessed you crosses your mind, act on it right away instead of dismissing it.  This might mean penning an “old fashioned” thank you note (a true novelty in today’s day and age), sending a quick (but specific) text message of thanks, or even a more public recognition of appreciation by means of a social media post.  While any one of these methods of thanks would not doubt be well-received, face-to-face interaction is hard to top.  A heart-felt, spoken expression of thankfulness (perhaps more than just the word, “Thanks”) coupled with eye contact and a genuine smile can convey a warmth that blesses both the speaker and the recipient.

 

Take the Joy Dare.

Writer, Ann Voscamp has an excellent, free online resource available for developing a spirit of thanksgiving 365 days a year.  The Joy Dare, best completed as a journaling project, consists of a daily prompt challenging the writer to search for gifts (or blessings) in three, specific categories.  These daily cues help the writer to think outside of the box, and keep their eyes open to common place blessings that might have otherwise escaped their attention.  As the project goes on, the participant will find that they have become conditioned to looking for blessings all around them, contributing to a sense of wonder and appreciation in the every day.

 

“It’s habits that can imprison you and it’s habits that can free you. But when thanks to God becomes a habit – so joy in God becomes your life.”

—Ann Voscamp

 

Various studies have shown that keeping a gratitude list may contribute to a relative absence of stress and depression[1], progress toward important personal goals[2], higher levels of determination an energy[3], deepen existing relationships and desire to build stronger relationships[4], and increase general happiness by 25%[5].  With all the benefits of a lifestyle of thanksgiving, it becomes more apparent that God has intended this “work” for our good.

 

Dedicate time in prayer, specifically for giving thanks.

As we become more attuned to the practice of pausing and reflecting on our blessings, it is only appropriate to express our thanks to the One from whom every good and perfect gift comes (James 1:17).  If we aren’t careful, daily (or even less-frequent) prayer time can easily become a laundry list of needs and wants that no-doubt paint us as ungrateful, entitled children to our Father.  Instead of leading with a list of demands, try opening your time of prayer in reflection of who God is and spend some time simply thanking Him for these aspects of His character and the specific ways in which you have sensed His presence.  Similarly to the Joy Dare—when we pause and ponder God’s movement in our life, it helps shift our perspective and focus to details we may have otherwise overlooked in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives.

 

God unceasingly lavishes his love and mercy on us every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). This year, don’t wait for November to start counting blessings.. Begin giving thanks right now, and let it become a way of life as you lean into the work God has called you to, year-round.

 


Recommended Reading: Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voscamp

[1]Woods et al., 2008

[2] Emmons and McCullough, 2003

[3] Emmons and Mccullough, 2003

[4] Algoe and Haidt, 2009

[5] McCullough et al., 2002

Filed Under: Featured, From the Magazine Tagged With: angela robinson, appreciation, blessings, dedicate, express, give thanks, intentional, joy dare, perpetual thanksgiving, prayer, thanksgiving, women of faith

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