Peace family, since meeting up with several close friends for the first time since the holidays, it’s interesting how several conversations have ended up examining pain and dysfunction in our families.
First of all, I want to encourage you that if you feel like your family is more crazy than anyone else’s, you aren’t alone. Everyone has a couple of broken or hurtful behaviors or individuals in their family, and if not in their nuclear family, then in their extended family. No one is perfect, therefore no family is flawless. The belief that all other families are better and have it more together than yours, despite the fact that sometimes others would reinforce that belief, is a lie.
Maybe you feel forced into certain unhealthy roles by certain family members. Maybe you feel like certain family members don’t understand you at all, or don’t have any desire to understand you, either. Maybe your family has unfair accusations, a lack of respect, unkindness, favoritism, codependence, an unwillingness to apologize, or people who say hurtful things even while they think or claim they are treating you well. Maybe your family deals with addiction, abuse, or neglect. Maybe the bad behaviors have been around for as long as you can remember, and you see no hope for things to ever be different.
Peace family, no matter what your family’s issues are, God’s grace is sufficient for your family. Just like anything, God has a plan for redemption for your family. God will be glorified, and even if you give up on a family member, God will never give up on him or her. He has a better plan for that person than even you have, and God can make changes in someone’s heart that you could never dream of. You can’t control how others treat you, but you can control how you react to them. Just keep seeking God for your healing, and doing your best to forgive and love others well. God loves you and knows what you are going through, so take heart, and remember that you are not alone!