Peace Family, have you ever felt like all that you truly had left, was God?
After flying back to Texas from Germany on July 25th, I was pretty dizzy. I thought I was just extremely tired, but the dizziness didn’t go away, and in fact, it progressively got worse. It was so bad by last week, that I spent the weekend almost continually in my bed, drifting in and out of sleep. I was so dizzy that I almost couldn’t do anything but lie down with my eyes closed, and even then, I still felt like my eyeballs were spinning around inside of my head. I was not in any pain, but I was completely emotionally drained, I was physically incapacitated, and I was so dizzy that I had a difficult time stringing thoughts together. All that was left was the presence of God, and the darkness behind my eyelids.
Have you ever reached such a debilitating state?
After three days of almost complete helplessness, a friend drove me to my doctor, where I got some medication and learned that my inner ear, behind my eardrum, was full of fluid. By that evening, I started to feel a little better, but the whole experience was pretty strange. The fact that I got broken down to my core, helped me to gain some perspective that I hadn’t had before for some difficult situations that I had been struggling with.
Peace family, it’s funny sometimes how God chooses to answer our prayers. After feeling a little better, I remembered the Bible verse that says that God works all things together for the good of those who love him, who are called according to his purposes (Romans 8:28), and I recalled that right before I got so ill, I was passionately praying (pleading, really) that God would give me more direction for my life. I realized that maybe him allowing me to become so debilitated, was his way of giving me more direction. That’s not my preferred way of getting direction, but it worked.
Are there any areas where you are suffering right now? Are there any areas that are bad, that God might be redeeming and using for good? I want to encourage you to remember that God is with you in your darkness, even the most desolate darkness, even if no one else is, and I also want to encourage you to look for him and how he is working. When things are very bleak, and you are right in the middle of things, it can sometimes be impossible to see him. Just keep holding on. My prayer for you today, is that God would bring you through, and show you, even if it’s afterwards, the ways that He stood by you, and continues to stand with you.