Not Good Enough

Not good enough. Has that thought ever crossed your mind?  Has it ever felt true to you?  There are times when we try to do something – such as start a new business, work on a relationship, write a book, or create a work of art – and are plagued by the thought that, no matter what we do or how hard we try, whatever we do is simply not good enough.

I remember this thought coming to my mind while in the midst of a relationship.  During a time of prayer, I distinctly remember telling Jesus, “I just don’t feel like I am good enough for her.”  The Lord, in His graciousness, then reminded me, “My blood makes you good enough.”  Despite the goodness of God, how often do we instead focus on our supposed inadequacy? Have you ever stopped and tried to find out where these negative thoughts and feelings come from?

I had an amazing experience a while back and felt compelled to share it.  I was in a counseling class several months ago at Word of God Christian Counseling, and we broke up into smaller groups.  As we prayed and asked the Holy Spirit who were to be the counselors and who were to be the counselees, I knew immediately that I needed to be a counselee.

I sensed that I needed to deal with this thought of not being good enough.  The counselors prayed and asked the Holy Spirit to take me back to when this feeling first began.  I remembered almost immediately the time when I was around five years old, when my parents divorced.  From the age of five until about the age of ten, I continually prayed and asked God to bring my parents back together.

Eventually, when my parents did not get back together, the thought was planted in my mind that my prayers were not “good enough.”  After all, I prayed and nothing happened, right?  So I thought.  Then, one of the counselors asked Jesus to show me what my prayers looked like in Heaven.

I saw Jesus standing in an office.  He had no room to move around, because there were filing cabinets crammed around Him from floor to ceiling and from wall to wall.  I saw all of this as if through a video lens, but then the camera began to pull back.  That office was just one room on one floor of a ten-story building.  Each room on each floor was filled with filing cabinets, stacked from floor to ceiling.  There were even filing cabinets stacked up on the lawn outside of the office building, three or four high and many rows deep.  Every filing cabinet was completely filled with folders, and each file folder contained just one of my prayers.

This picture was so unexpected that it completely caught me off guard.  I was overwhelmed by the love, kindness, and gentleness of my Savior.  It was such a vivid and personal picture, and it reminded me that my prayers do matter and that the results are not based on me or the “power” of my prayers.

God hears our prayers because we matter to Him.  The results are in His hands and in the hands and hearts of His children who either choose to obey, disobey, ignore, discredit, disown, or own what He speaks.  That is how much our Father God loves and cares about each one of us, His children.

We are His, and He is ours.  Be blessed and encouraged in our Lord Jesus Christ.  You and your prayers do matter to our Father God; He hears each and every one of them.

 

 ^{SDG-Soli Deo Gloria.}