Peace family, memories and togetherness are such a large part of the holidays, that they often sharpen our grief. If you’ve lost anyone, Chaplain Gary Roe with Hospice Brazos Valley has some good words for you. This is the third of several chats throughout the coming weeks in which Gary will be joining Peace 107 to speak into our places of holiday pain.
Relationships and the Holidays
Gary Roe says when we lose a loved one, we’re not really anticipating that our relationships are going to change, but our heart has been hit hard, and we aren’t going to be the same from here on out. We are going to heal, learn, and grow through this, and as a result, we’re going to change. As a result of that, our relationships are going to change. That can be very, very tough.
So, how do you navigate the holidays, and especially your relationships, when grieving? Gary has a very simple rule, which, if you follow it, can make your holidays a whole lot better: get around people who are helpful to you while you’re grieving, and limit your exposure to those who aren’t. Some people are going to be uncomfortable with your grief. Some people are going to judge you for your grief. Others are going to try to fix your grief. Well-meaning people are going to say some very unhelpful things.
Gary says, on the other hand, out there somewhere in your relationships, in your churches, in your small group, wherever it is, there are people who are safe, who accept you right where you are, and they kind of understand where you are, maybe because of their own losses, and they will love you where you’re at. Those are the kinds of people you need to find and get around, because when you’re around them, your heart begins to relax, and you can really grieve safely, even if your grief comes out in sinful ways. So, find those safe people, get around them, get around people who are helpful and loving to you, limit your exposure to those who aren’t, and keep in mind that Jesus Christ is the ultimate safe person. If you have trusted in him, he lives in you, and you live in him. He is always there, always available, always loving and compassionate, ready to listen, and he really feels what you feel. Lean into him, breathe deeply, and remember that you will get through this. If there’s anything that we at Hospice Brazos Valley can do, please, don’t hesitate to call us at 979-821-2266.
You can find more resources, free and to purchase, by going to Gary’s website, HERE, or copying and pasting this link into your browser: http://www.garyroe.com/ . You can also email Gary at firstname.lastname@example.org .
Click below to hear Chaplain Gary Roe of Hospice Brazos Valley chat with Peace 107’s Brian and Kat: