Peace family, memories and togetherness are such a large part of the holidays, that they often sharpen our grief. If you’ve lost anyone, Chaplain Gary Roe with Hospice Brazos Valley has some good words for you. This is the fourth of several chats in which Gary joins Peace 107 to speak into our places of holiday pain.
Making a Plan For Dealing With Holiday Grief
Gary says that it’s very important to have a plan. For many people who’ve lost a loved one during the year, or even last year, if the holidays are coming up, the holidays really surface memories. It’s just so easy to sit back and dread the holiday. A much, much better plan, is to actually develop a proactive, simple plan to honor and remember your loved one during the holidays.
That can be any number of things. One simple plan would be to talk about our lost loved one openly to certain people, to other family members, or to whomever you feel like you can do that with. Another plan is to share memories of this person and to ask others to do the same at some point during the family gathering. You could give a gift or a donation in their name and in honor of them, you could serve at some kind of special event or at church in their honor, you could light a candle from now until Christmas Day, or maybe just light one on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in honor of them. Some people like to include an empty chair at the table during family gatherings. You could join others and think about whether there was a holiday tradition that this person really enjoyed, and continue that tradition this year, tweaking it as needed. Whatever you do, it’s an opportunity to remember them, to experience love for other people, and to honor your loved one who has passed on.
So, be creative, be proactive, make a simple plan, talk about it with other people if you want or need to, and remember that God placed them in your life. God made us for relationships, and when someone departs, it hurts, and it’s ok to hurt over the holidays. Remember that if you’re a believer in Jesus, he lives in you, and he will walk with you through this. Grief is really the back side of love. If we love, we will eventually grieve.
If there’s any way that Hospice Brazos Valley can help you with the grieving process, feel free to give them a call at 979-821-2266. You can find more resources, free and to purchase, by going to Gary’s website, HERE, or copying and pasting this link into your browser: http://www.garyroe.com/ . You can also email Gary at email@example.com .
Click below to hear Chaplain Gary Roe of Hospice Brazos Valley chat with Peace 107’s Brian and Kat: