Peace family, memories and togetherness are such a large part of the holidays, that they often sharpen our grief. If you’ve lost anyone, Chaplain Gary Roe with Hospice Brazos Valley has some good words for you. This is the last chat for this year in which Gary joins Peace 107 to speak into our places of holiday pain.
You Aren’t Alone, Even If You Feel Alone
Gary says, to recap our chats this month: Holidays and grief are an interesting mix. It’s a tough combination.
First of all, it’s really is okay to hurt over the holidays. God created us for relationship, so we really don’t do separation well. So when someone leaves or dies, it hurts,l and our hearts are affected by that. The second thing we talked about was just being aware of expectations over the holidays, whether others’ expectations over the holidays, or our expectations of ourselves, and the fact that if we’re grieving, chances are that we’re going to be able to do a little bit less than we usually expect of ourselves or have done in the past. We also talked about relationships. Grief really affects relationships. Some people draw closer, some people may pull away, some people remain the same, so the real key is to get around people who are helpful to you when you’re grieving, and limit your exposure to those who aren’t. Finally, last week, we talked about making a simple plan to remember and honor your loved one over the Christmas holidays. Whatever it is, keep it simple, simple, but make a plan to do that. (For more information on any of those topics, check out our former blogs: Part I: It’s Ok To Hurt, Part II: Managing Expectations, Part III: Managing Relationships, and Part IV: Making A Plan )
That brings us down to today and our final talk about grief over the holidays. I really want to point us to the fact that we’re not alone. I know we know that, but we feel alone in grief a lot. We feel like no one can really understand, no one feels what we feel, and to some degree, that’s true! No one has that particular loss; it’s our relationship , so grief is a very special thing, and a very lonely thing.
But even then, you’re not alone. We have the ultimate grief expert with us. if you’ve trusted in Jesus Christ as your savior and received him, he lives in you, and I believe, he actually has the ability to feel your pain and grief, and that he does feel your pain and grief. His arms are around you, he knows, he loves you perfectly, and grief is really an opportunity to trust him through this time, perhaps on deeper levels than you ever have before, trusting him with what’s going on inside of you, what’s going on emotionally, what you’re thinking, how you feel, your fears, worries, your concerns, whatever they are.
Grief over the holidays hurts, but it’s a unique opportunity to experience the love of Christ as never before. So, look for him, look to him, lean into him. Trust him to meet needs that nothing and no one else can meet during the holidays. Rest in him. He longs for you! Jesus longs for you to experience him in the midst of your grief.
If there’s anything that Hospice Brazos Valley can help you with during the grieving process, feel free to give them a call at 979-821-2266. You can find more resources, free and to purchase, by going to Gary’s website, HERE, or copying and pasting this link into your browser: http://www.garyroe.com/ . You can also email Gary at email@example.com .
Click below to hear Chaplain Gary Roe of Hospice Brazos Valley chat with Peace 107’s Brian and Kat: