Peace family, if you are grieving during Valentine’s Day, local chaplain Gary Roe with Hospice Brazos Valley wants you to know that you’re not alone. Everything about Valentine’s Day brings attention to couples, togetherness, love, and romance, and Gary says that can be just like poking on an open wound.
He says that people say to him all the time, “Valentine’s Day is coming up and I really am dreading this! How in the world am I going to make it through this?” Gary has three suggestions.
First of all, if you are a widow, widower, or even just lost a spouse through a divorce, Gary encourages you to be real with your own heart, which is one of the main keys to eventual healing. He says being real with yourself and being real with God about where you are, as well as giving yourself permission to grieve, are essential. God isn’t surprised by your pain. He isn’t shocked by it. He knows it. He knows our hearts already, and when we begin to share with him about where our hearts really are, that begins to make all the difference in the world.
Gary says as believers in Christ, the New Testament says that basically (to put an image with it) His arms are around us all the time. We are in him, and he is in us, and it’s really important for widows and widowers to really visualize that as Valentine’s Day is coming at them.
Next, get out that grief somehow. Contrary to popular belief, it’s okay to grieve. Gary says to get it out, write it out, and talk about it out loud, sharing with someone safe.
Finally, Gary says to greet Valentine’s Day, even if it sounds impossible.He says it is possible to use this day to honor your loved one who has passed. There’s no reason you can’t write a valentine, and as painful as that sounds to do, it is really very healing. Feel free to grieve, get it out any way that you can, and don’t go it alone.
Gary says that probably the worst thing we can do is go internal and isolate ourselves as Valentine’s Day comes, then isolate ourselves on that day. Instead, reach out and let somebody else know that you’re hurting. Hospice Brazos Valley offers several grief support groups, including one specifically for widows and widowers.
Click below to hear Peace 107’s Brian and Kat chat with chaplain Gary Roe.
Peace family, we hope that this gives you or your loved one some comfort and healing. To go to Gary’s website, CLICK HERE, or copy and paste www.garyroe.com into your browser.