Peace family, grieving can be especially painful during the holidays. Gary Roe, chaplain with Hospice Brazos Valley, is going to be checking in with us for the next several weeks, and he has some tips for healing and making it through the holidays.
Gary says that Christmas is a wonderful time, and a time of great celebration, but, if you’ve had a loved one die recently in the last couple of years, or if you’ve had someone die during the holidays, even years and years ago, this time of year can be very challenging. Added to that, everyone expects you to be in the holiday spirit, to be up-beat, smiling and happy.
The first key is telling yourself that if you are hurting, it’s okay to be where you are. it’s really okay to hurt. It’s okay to give yourself permission to hurt and to grieve. After all, God created us for relationships, so we don’t do separation very well. This time of year reminds us continually of who’s missing, and we really need to take that seriously.
If you’re grieving, another thing that you can do is ease off from expectations.
The holidays are notorious for big expectations. One of the things you can do to help yourself this holiday, is to manage your expectations. We all have expectations of ourselves, of others, and even of the world. Others have expectations of us, and the world has expectations of us. And on top of all of this, if you’re hurting and grieving, that can be a real challenge.
One thing to do, is to simply know, “No, I’m simply not going to be able to do as much this year.” Lower your expectations of yourself a little bit. Take yourself seriously. Try to let the expectations of other people go, and as much as possible, just focus on walking with Jesus this holiday season. In the Old Testament, when Isaiah describes Jesus as a “Man of Sorrows,” he is well-acquainted with grief. He knows and he feels your grief with you. Keep this is mind as well; you are not alone, and it’s not just that God is with you, which is the ultimate comfort, but there are others with you on this grief journey as well. The grief path is well-populated out there. Jesus knows all about your grief, and he walks with you in it.
You can find more details to help get through the holidays and get through them well by going to Gary Roe’s website, HERE, or copy and paste this link into your browser: https://www.garyroe.com/
Click below to listen to Gary chat with Peace 107’s Brian and Kat: