In a culture where constant offense and polarization dominate so many interactions, singer, songwriter, and bestselling author Mike Donehey (formerly of Grammy-nominated CCM band Tenth Avenue North) now offers good news about a more productive way to disagree: God desires for each of his people to become better at loving others…not better at debating.
In his new book, Grace in the Gray: A More Loving Way to Disagree (out 1/17) Donehey helps readers see the grace and good that’s often hidden by each person’s limited perspectives and assumptions. Through a collection of personal stories and biblical insights, he reveals a four-stage process to help readers:
1. Subjectify those they’ve objectified
2. Empathize with those they’ve vilified
3. Humanize those they’ve deified
4. See why their posture is as essential as your position
“Maybe God wove some mystery into the world because He doesn’t need us to be great debaters, He wants us to grow into great lovers.” –Mike Donehey in Grace in the Gray
Donehey—who openly shares examples of when he’s “played the fool” in his attitude and discourse—helps people of faith discover how to focus on the person standing before them more than the argument set against them. His advice applies to all kinds of relationships, whether at home or in professional and social settings.
Additionally, he challenges his readers to honor one another on social media and consider their motives when they want to correct or debate someone’s beliefs.
“This is a book about a different strategy altogether. It’s about how we can more lovingly disagree. It’s about leaning in and asking questions. It’s about admitting when we’re wrong and not always assuming our view is the correct one. It’s about curiosity and kindness and asking better questions,” Donehey writes. “I don’t just want to try on another man’s shoes, I want to live in them for a while. I want to explore what it might look like to forge ahead in friendship when it feels impossible to do anything but retreat.”
He points out that it all begins by learning to listen and lead with the most transformative substance the universe has ever known…God’s love.
By approaching disagreements in a more loving way and seeing the grace and good in those who hold differing viewpoints, Donehey helps readers gain a deeper understanding of others, themselves, and God.
Purchase your copy HERE.